detritus

This looks awesome. Say hello to Persepolis:



I want to go read the graphic novels this is based on. Speaking of which, Time has released their top 10 graphic novels for 2007.

It was a long and arduous day at the office (late starts are always like that), so I needed to veg out once I got home. Like, checking out my fantasy football team, which has managed to finish 2nd in my league, having the advantage of being chosen by a computer, and not by me. That pretty much tells you everything you need to know about fantasy sports. Sweet Lady Autopick grabbed me Tony Romo, although that's offset by also picking Johnsons, Larry and Rudi.

I've been tempted to play Football Manager 2008, but I've held off, waiting for the weekend. I've just downloaded the demo, so it only lets me play a season up to January, which, all things considering, is probably healthier for me.

Super Bowl magic

Actual email exchange between me and Max this week (I'll take out the smiley faces to protect the identity of the innocent):

Max:
it just hit me, your team [Sox] won when you were unemployed. Now that we're
both unemployed, the Bears have to win!

me:
Also, in 98 when we graduated, and when I was FIRST unemployed, even the fricking Cubs made it to the playoffs as the wildcard, and I was unemployed when the Chubbies won the division in 2003, and then there was 2005 of course, and now. Weird.

Max:
Ah, the Cubs curse develops further. If the Cubs make it to the playoffs & want to win, they should make sure the Gat has a job.

Other than us and most of Chicago, there isn't anyone in America that gives the Bears a chance. I know better than to prognosticate, but here's what the BEHRS need to do to see if Coach Ditka can still shuffle:

1. Peyton Manning knows all about the Cover 2, since Lovie got it from Indy coach Tony Dungy. The teams that have given Indy and Manning the most trouble have been 3-4 teams like Pittsburgh and New England. Lots of pressure on Urlacher and the safeties to make every tackle, because I don't think there'll be much of a pass rush generated by the front four.
2. Rex will need to deliver in some difficult situations, mostly due to the fact that the Bears' line hasn't faced a speed rusher like Dwight Freeney off the edge all season, meaning fumbles/interceptions. Staring down the barrel of a 3rd or 4th and long, can he do it? If the Bears get down late, can he bring them back?
   
3. A big one from the Windy City Flyer.
   
4. The one or two horrendous passes Manning throws into the numbers of the defense (he ends up outsmarting himself, and throws a laser right at a corner, almost Favre-like), they gotta catch and score it, not just get good field position.
   
5. Hopefully Peyton can choke on the bile from tasting his own legacy being cemented, after never beating Florida in college, and taking 4 attempts to beat New England. You know he's thought about all of the magazine articles and TV pieces if he doesn't get this one. Heck, he even has to win for his dad. That's way too much pressure on one guy, and I'm thinking he'll pull an A-Rod. Even A-Rod doesn't have to win for his dad.

I could use some good luck on Saturday at the job fair, too.

miami. my mammy.

I got everything I wanted on Sunday. Well. Just two things:

1. The Bears going to the Super Bowl, and
   
2. playing the Colts when they get there.

BEHRS can't pass block, but the run blocking was superb as TJones and Cedric rolled to almost two hundee on the ground. Conversely, the D was stout against the run, holding Bush/McAllister to 56 yards.

Rex didn't screw anything up.

Colts, with the legacy wobbly Manning at the helm, finally exorcised the Patriot Mystique (TM), with quarterback/philanthropist/golden boy Brady throwing the game sealing interception. I wanted the Colts to win because Sprint/MasterCard schill Peyton Manning will discover that if he thought the pressure to GET to a Super Bowl was intense, wait until he feels the pressure to WIN one if he's favored (the early line has the Colts favored by 7). I think he's going to shrivel up like a cold day at the beach.

Predictions for the Big Game later. Right now, I'm bathing in the euphoria.

If the BEHRS can actually pull this thing out (can it happen?! are we actually talking about this?!) then the onus falls more squarely on the Cubs to win something, the Chicago media being the killjoy it is.

This feels similarly magical to the White Sox postseason run in 2005, although baseball sustains a longer tenure of intensity because of the mulitple game format, whereas football is more spastic. The common denominator being my lack of employment. 2005? No job. Spring of 2007? No job. If the BEHRS get this one, it's a little bit of a weird coincidence. I will be looking to be permanently employed, mostly for the benefits of having a job, but also so it ensures that another Chicago pro team won't win something. The obvious hole in this argument is that I'd like for the Sox to win it again, but at the cost of being unemployed again... ? We'll think about that later.

sames and opposites

In Roman mythology, Janus was the god of gates, doors, doorways, beginnings, and endings, usually depicted with two faces looking in opposite directions. A perfect image for the worst 13-3 team in the history of the NFL, the 2006 Jekyll and Hyde Chicago Bears. Beating the Seahawks was far from perfect (dropped passes, Rex's predilection for panic under pressure, Hester's adventures in returning), but they were stout on 3rd-and-short situations, the offense was mistake-free, and the linebackers and corners played particularly well.

The Bears don't have any semblance of the stability that most championship teams have, but maybe the fact that they're so volatile makes it that much more fun. I have no idea whether they'll beat the Saints, but, staying true to the Janus-like nature of this team, what can be an advantage to the Bears can turn around and bite them in the collective rear. To whit:

Point 1: NO's suspect secondary

Pro: New Orleans' D is not a world beater. Bernard Berrian and Rashied Davies can get open deep on a suspect secondary, especially after Jones and Benson can gash them for big runs like Philly did in NO's opening playoff game.

Con: A suspect secondary may tempt Mssr. Grossman into trying his luck on the deep routes, which means more chances of getting intercepted, and more chances of getting sacked as he holds onto the ball longer in hopes of a receiver uncovering deep.

Point 2: The weather

Pro: The Saints' high-powered offense, which plays in the cozy confines of the Superdome, will bog down in the mucky winter weather of Soldier Field.

Con: The Bears have given very little evidence that they're any more acclimated to the cold, dropping lots of catchable passes against the Seahawks (including some crucial third down conversions) and Hester on punt returns and Grossman on sacks both having problems securing the ball. It's only going to get colder, so it's only going to be more difficult to catch a slick, rock hard pigskin. Gloves, kids.

And if they can get past the Saints, who are the kings of good-feelings mojo this season...? I don't even want to say Super ----. All I know is, I hope Indy somehow beats New England, cuz I'd rather face a crap-the-bed Peyton Manning feeling the weight of legacy on his shoulders instead of 3 time SB MVP Tom Brady, making it look so easy that it's boring.

Also, the first half of the 24 premiere was fricking awesome. Come on. You were all thinking it. Kumar? Oh, and that guy from The Matrix Reloaded? And the guy that always plays any prominent Arab speaking role?

Then it was followed up by the Demetri Martin special on Comedy Central, which you can still catch clips on their website. And more 24 for tomorrow. Great day to stay home.

countdown to 30: favorite athletes

in biographical order:

1. Walter Payton, RB, Chi - Even though I could barely speak English, I knew who Sweetness was.
2. Don Mattingly, 1b, NYY - Yes, a Yankee, back when we lived in New Jersey for a few years. Even though the Mets won the Series in 86, I still liked the much less successful Yankees. Loved the 'stache and the huge RBI numbers, even though he never won anything.
3. Dave Winfield, OF, NYY - Unlike Darryl Strawberry, wasn't a cokehead. As far as we know.
4. Magic Johnson, PG, LAL - Showtime's ringleader, and the reason why every kid my age that played basketball learned to dribble behind the back and give no-look passes. I also never grasped the double entendre of his name until much, much later. I cried when the AIDS annoucement came out.
5. James Worthy, SF, LAL - Big Game James made wearing goggles cool, way cooler than Kareem ever did. Underestimated, I think. Living in LA during the late 80s was great.
6. Wayne Gretzky, C, LAK - So great was the Great One that kids on California hardtops traded in skateboards for hockey sticks. At least we did.
7. The 1984/1988 US Men's Olympic Volleyball Team - Who were the guys with the funny names? Kiraly? Ctvrtlik? The 88 Olympics were under close scrutiny in my household, since it was being hosted by the mother country, which gave me the chance to watch volleyball's version of the 85 Bears roll up on those heartless, Communist jerks, exactly like an 80s action movie.
8. Mark Price, PG, Cle - When you're out in the backyard or in the park playing ball with your friends, it's nice to have a good player who has the same first name as you. My buddy was Ronny was Ron Harper, so it worked.
9. Kevin Johnson, PG, Phx - Lightning quick point guard that got to the basket without any crossover moves, just blinding speed. Killed the Lakers all the time, and kinda looked like one of those Aliens from the movie, even more than Sam Cassell.
10. Will Clark, 1b, SFG - A continuation of the Don Mattingly mancrush. Also singlehandedly wrecked the Cubs in 89, so that's always fun.
11. Michael Cooper, SG-SF, LAL - A fan favorite for his ridiculous skinny legs, tall socks, and superhuman hops. Unfortunately, most famous for getting dunked on by Dr. J in the 83 Finals.
12. Wally Joyner, 1b, CA - The only California Angel that didn't suck when I lived out there. I'm serious about not noticing the first baseman trend until now. I related to him because he looked like he was 12 years old, like me. Screw the Dodgers. The Dodgers are the West Coast version of the Cubs, without so much of the losing, but with the same old people moxie (all Tommy Lasorda's fault).
13. Frank Thomas, 1b, CWS - A really tall, skinny rookie who hit monstrous opposite field home runs. It's cool to be at the beginning of a Hall of Famer's career.
14. Robin Ventura, 3b, CWS - Always looked calm and cool, like playing baseball didn't take any effort. Won a permanent place in my heart when he took several dozen noogies to the head from a Hall of Famer that can throw a hundred miles per hour.
15. Black Jesus, SG, Chi - It took some time to come around to like him, because he defeated Magic and Worthy in the 91 Finals, right when I moved from LA to Chi. It was a nice way to transition from one basketball dynasty to the next, but I was hating it a lot at the time. The only athlete that I am completely sure would die to win.
16. George Bell, LF, ChiC - Yes, a Cub. But he has two great things going for him: 1) being the greatest player in RBI Baseball for the NES (equivalent to Bo Jackson in TECMO Bowl), and 2) there being a 50/50 chance Harry Caray would screw up his name on the air. "In left field, George... Bush." "Now hitting, Greg Bell." I watched Cubs games cuz we didn't have cable and I was starving to watch any kind of baseball.
17. Jon Kruk, 1b, CWS - People forget he played about 12 games for the Sox. Thus began the genesis of the All-Fat team.
18. Darnell Autry, RB, Northwestern - The engine behind the most unlikely football story of all time. Northwestern on the cover of Sports Illustrated? Yah, it actually happened. And we beat Notre Dame, Michigan, and Penn St. that year, too.
19. Zak Kustok, QB, Northwestern - The 95 Rose Bowl team that had Autry, Fitzgerald, and Schnur were almost clinical in how they dismantled opponents, but the Kustok-Anderson teams were high-wire acts that scored a lot of points and gave up a lot of points. Youtube has got some great ones. All hail the Zak Attack.
20. Tim Raines, LF, CWS - Played with intelligence, style, and class.
21. Magglio Ordonez, RF, CWS - Best Sox OF of "my" era. Probably the best one in the last 20 years. And it was cool that he kinda looked Asian.
22. Mike Brown, SS, Bears - Gets as many season ending injuries as defensive touchdowns.
23. The Rock, WWF wrestling - The electrifying People's Champion brought the noise and intensity to fake sports like no other.
24. Marshall Faulk, RB, StL - For winning me my only office fantasy football championship.
25. Albert Pujols, 1b, StL - Hands down, Frank Thomas had the best start to a career I'd ever witnessed, until this guy came along. It also took me forever to understand how grossly funny his last name is. He, Bonds, and Big Papi are the only guys I stop channel surfing to watch their at bats.
26. Lance Berkman, 1b-RF, Hou - One of my favorite all-Big Boned Team members. When chunky guys do well, it makes you think, yes, YOU TOO can be a professional athlete. But, probably not.
27. Roy Oswalt, SP, Hou and
28. Brian Roberts, 2b, Bal - Guys I always target for fantasy baseball because I know exactly what I'll get for them, and they're not "hype" guys that everyone is jumping all over.
29. Steve Nash, PG, Phx - He plays the way Magic used to play. Everyone else in the NBA is boring, except for maybe D. Wade. Yes, Lebron is boring (too physically dominant, like Shaq was). Nash, Tim Duncan, Jason Kidd, and Paul Pierce are the small handlful of NBAers with any kind of cunning deceit to their game, who can win without being 100%. Too bad Kobe and McGrady will never learn this. Kobe's cunning is what gets championships (Shaq) traded to another team, while McGrady's means he shoots 20 more times in the 4th quarter.
30. Joe Crede, 3b, Sox - The next Sox folk hero in the making.

Honorable mention: Kirk Hinrich, PG, Bulls. Mark Buehrle, SP, Sox. Jalen Rose, PG, U.Mich., Ross Gload, 1b-OF, Sox.

fantasy football draft day is like christmas

Some people wake up on a glorious late summer/early autumn Saturday morning and sip in the sunshine from mowing the lawn, wiping the last suds from the hood of the car, or leisurely leafing through the paper on the patio.

Not me. I rolled out of bed, landed on the "power" button of my laptop, and drafted my customary random league football team. Who needs a girlfriend/hobby/breakfast?

I've already drafted in my keeper leagues, which have been, conservatively speaking, Hindenburg level disasters. How does this happen? 1) You don't make it to one of the drafts because you're picking up your little priest brother from the airport, leaving you to the fickle whims of Fraulein Auto Pick and 2) keeper leagues horde running backs the way third world dictators collect weapons grade plutonium. I'm pretty sure right now there's a waiver claim for Shaun Alexander's 2 yr old daughter. It's crazy. My off-time happiness shouldn't have to depend on the performance of Wali Lundy, or how gimpy Corey Dillon is feeling.

Sticking myself in a random redraft league of complete strangers gives me the chance to start afresh, unburdened by the failures/legacies of the previous year, and to (hopefully) whoop up on 5th graders and old ladies. Hey it's still competition; if they don't want to get BEAT, they should STAY HOME and play Risk. Picking 5th in a 10 team league.

1. Ronnie Brown, RB, Mia - didn't want Edge (crappy OL), Portis (bum shoulder). Maybe should've taken Rudi? Argh. Fantasy sports always seduces you with potential.
2. Lamont Jordan, RB, Oak - decent pick, but I don't like how he faded at the end last year, and the Raiders always seem to bring out the underachiever in everyone. In other news, somebody takes the Chicago defense in this round. This is going well.
3. Chris Chambers, WR, Mia - ready to make the leap, with a real QB throwing to him finally.
4. Roy Williams, WR, Det - nervous about this one cuz he gets hurts, but still banking on the Lions' new Rams offense to put up numbers.
5. Donald Driver, WR, GB - Favre doesn't throw to anyone else.
6. Willie Parker, RB, Pit - was looking to take one QB out of Brady, McNabb and Bulger, but lo and behold all 3 get taken right before. Parker's a good value, but I'm going to be mixing and matching QBs all year.
7. Kurt Warner, QB, Ari - Ugh. Too bad this isn't 1999. I'm still tailspinning from not getting a QB last round and how many good RBs are still left on the board. I still need to brush my teeth.
8. Chris Cooley, TE, Was - Never mind that an Asian guy is drafting a "Cooley."
9. Lawrence Maroney, RB, NE - this year's LJ. On the other hand, what I am doing taking my 4th RB in the 9th round.
10. Matt Jones, WR, Jax - Secret weapon #2, after Maroney. Could wrest away the "Best White Wide Receiver" title away from Joe Jurevicious.
11. Chris Simms, QB, TB - Is Kurt Warner 5 picks better than Simms? No. I'm an idiot.
12. DeAngelo Williams, RB, Car - My fav sleeper pick. I can't help myself from picking these; I'm like the guy that takes four too many free samples at the grocery store. By the way, I can only start 2 out of 37 running backs that I now have.
13. Kevin Curtis, WR, StL - Might vie for "Best White Wide Receiver" in a few years. Joe Addai, another sleeper RB, gets taken right afterward. I feel sad.
14. Washington defense
15. David Akers, K, Phi

I need to trade some of my RBs for a better QB. Carson Palmer, I'm looking at you, boyeee.