I AM... SPARTA! I mean, BEOWULF!

Took in Beowulf last night, which is pretty much only worth seeing if you're going on the IMAX 3D, otherwise, there's not enough to keep you interested, even a "digitally enhanced" Angelina Jolie. Speaking of which, there were way too many little kids to be watching a movie with so much nakedness (real and implied). I'm all for making literature exciting, but... I don't need to see butts. Don't even get me started about the painstaking detail that must be delivered to make Beowulf's butt look realistic and believable. What is the conversation that has to happen? "Hey, I need you to tape these golf balls onto your heiny so we can get some motion capture. Ok, now run away from me!"

Entertaining as it is, I would have liked it more if it played more to the "indestructible monster angle" and less of the court intrigue. The animation is still very good, to the point where you forget that it's animated, until you get to a movement where they really haven't quite got the rendering right, like whenever a character rides a horse.

Max and I were talking about what other old stories could be taken as fodder for future movies (related to but different from the "What 80s cartoons should they turn into movies next?" conversation), and this was the short list:

• Jason and the Argonauts
• Perseus and Medusa (that being said, Clash of the Titans is in the works as a remake)
• Theseus and the Minotaur
• Hercules (although this could be crippled by the TV show and Disney cartoon)
• St. George killing the Dragon
• Custer's Last Stand (I'm sure this would be borderline offensive because of its historical inaccuracy and the lionizing of Custer, but they did make The Alamo)
• The Hobbit (obvious)

buying lemonade instead of making it

Sox trade SP Jon Garland to the Angels for SS Orlando Cabrera + $1.5mm
Um, I know that Garland is a little overrated because his shiny stats are the "intangible" ones that dumb sportswriters and media types drool over (stuff like wins and being "playoff-tested"), but I didn't think that GMs were this smart. Considering the sort of contracts that guys like Ted Lilly, Jeff Suppan, and Gil Meche signed last offseason (all guys who don't have the youth, health, and track record that Garland have), it's a little tough to swallow that there wasn't a better deal available for the oh-so-coveted Starting Pitching.

That's not to say that the OC is terrible, because he isn't. He's an upgrade to Uribe's historically bad hacktastic-ness, although that's not saying a lot. He'll play good defense, he won't strike out too much, and he'll steal bases and play that grinder brand of baseball that made Darin Erstad and the White Sox promotions staff so rich. And he's 33 years old. Garland is 28.

The good thing is that both of them are in the last years of their contract, which means the Sox would have had to sign Garland to a long-term contract in his big-money years, which nobody really wanted to do, even if he did kind of earn it. Is he the guy you want to spend $13mm per? On the other hand, the OC costs only a $9 mm commitment for this year only. Which is a great move for a team that's trying to win right now, but not so great for a team like the Sox that has a lot of holes. The Sox are still the 4th best team in the division after this move. At best, I think adding OC and subtracting Garland is break-even, maybe less if Uribe ends up playing a lot of second base this year. The verdict ultimately depends on Kenny spends all the savings. Here's a hint: no Torii Hunter, although the Sun-Times is saying otherwise.

I'm not overly excited about it, because I don't think either of these guys is money well-spent, but there aren't really any better players out there (the Sox are not creative enough to get Miguel Cabrera). I think whether we can get a decent leadoff guy and the performance of Floyd and Danks will have more to do with success than Hunter or Cabrera. Yah, just to remind everybody, WE STILL HAVE JOSE CONTRERAS. Kenny's sure hit gold with all of those re-signings from the 2005 championship team.

Jill: #7 - "Heartbeats" Jose Gonzales (2:45)
#8 - "Fake Empire" The National (3:27)
#9 - "Is There a Ghost" Band of Horses (3:02)
#10 - "Summer in the City" Regina Spektor (3:50)

(I didn't forget 3-6, I just hid them somewhere else.)

Vote in Stereogum's Gummy Awards, win the best 50 albums of the year. Woo!

happy birthday jill

If anyone can give me a better understanding of the last 20 minutes of No Country for Old Men, I'd be very appreciative. Avoids a lot of cliche traps to provide some uniquely chilling moments. The very highest praise that a movie can earn is that it still has people thinking days after seeing it, and that's the case here. Something about morality, the inevitability of death, numbness, and ... a whole lot of something else. Hmm. I might have to go see it again.

Jill, #1 is "Song for Clay (Disappear Here)" by Bloc Party (4:49).
#2 is "The Heinrich Maneuver" by Interpol (3:28).

american gangstars

My favorite NFL highlight over the weekend:


Took in the much ballyhooed American Gangster on Saturday. I was hoping for something awesome along the lines of Heat, another cops and robbers story with two high voltage names sparring in the plotline until the final showdown. Both have much respect for Denzel and Russell Crowe for their ability to be captivating even if the rest of the movie stinks (i.e. Deja Vu).

I still think it's worth seeing, but there was something that stopped AG short of great, to just merely good. I read some review that said the filmmakers seemed a little too in love with the bad guy, played by Denzel. It's one thing to be intrigued by the heart of darkness in the villain, but I think my sense of justice wants somebody that evil to get some sort of comeuppance by the end, otherwise it feels like the evil is too glamorized.

But, I didn't like Heat, either, until after multiple viewings. AG is still worth watching, if you're into it. I think I might have enjoyed Gone Baby Gone or The Darjeeling Limited, more.

Top 5 Denzel movies I like better than AG:

1. Inside Man
2. Training Day
3. Crimson Tide
4. Malcolm X
5. Remember the Titans

glaring omission: The Hurricane. Never got around to this one. Boxing doesn't interest me. That whole slew of boxing movies just passed me by without a ripple.

Top 5 Russell Crowe movies I like more than AG:

1. L.A. Confidential
2. 3:10 to Yuma
3. Master and Commander
4. Gladiator
5. A Beautiful Mind

glaring omission: The Insider. Never got around to it, sorry. I think I'm more in the mood to watch it now than when it first came out. Political intrigue is more interesting to me now.

memories

My brother emailed me with a list of hilarious events commemorating my birthing (31 events, to be precise). Some of the high/lowlights (Ed's words in quotes, mine in parens)

1) "Tonka Truck incident" (Basically, I threw one of those hard plastic tires off of a Tonka truck at my brother. When he was 4. I was 11. Also, I hit him in the forehead. From about 4 feet away.)

5) "I'm sure you clearly and can resentfully recall me accidentally throwing a baseball at your face from ten feet away. 'Tanks foh bweaking mah teeth.'"

7) "I can’t recall which Los Angeles apartment we lived in during this period, but among all of the sports posters we used to have, I smothered James Worthy with all of my boogers! Poor James Worthy. Oh yeah, and sorry about that.

8) "Foam baseball" - Line drive hit above the pitchers hips would be a double, the Venetian blind would be a triple, and the little space between the blind and the ceiling would be a homerun. Grounders and the ceiling would be automatic outs. In our Buffalo Grove home, we got a little more sophisticated with taping a sheet of paper on the wall to denote the strike zone. We passed countless hours having fun which cultivated our love for the game of baseball. (this was inside, by the way)

20) "Hanging out with Todd Watermann and eating at 'the Duck.'"

22) "Watching the Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment every week."

25) "Toronto World Youth Day 2002. What an awesome pilgrimage. This experience was the beginning of my conversion and desire for an adult faith. It was my first exposure to youth across the country who were normal and yet on fire for the faith!... Meeting these Catholic youth made me realize how little I knew about my faith and the desire to know more. It was great to be able to share this with you and it turned out to be our sole pilgrimage together."

29) "Your trinity of hamstring injuries. Among Mark’s life lowlights."

30) "The discovery of you being 208 lbs on the scale. 'Taanks foohhh bweaakkiing mah scale.'" (Thanks to the all-stress, no-sleep diet, I am now a svelte 195 again.)

Nothing says love like sharing life together, certainly.

national novel writing month

is november 1-30. Just a little excerpt from the site to explain what the deal is:

What is NaNoWriMo?

National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.

Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over painstaking craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.

Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.

Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that's a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.

And all of that warms the cockles of this writing teacher's heart.

The awkward acronym is crap, though.

cinematique

Didn't get to see Jesse James yet, but indulged in some quality movie time with the boringly-named but awesomely directed Michael Clayton:



I realize when I watch movies like this, that I have a tendency of getting sucked in completely by the story, so I lose my third-person position of objectivity to analyze the story. Which left me thinking, "wait, so is he in the clear with his law firm?" when I left the theater. But, whatever. Some hard-earned self-reward at the end of a long day. I've found that a good way to get through the week (aside from lots of prayer and abandoning the outcome to God) is to have little rewards on the weekend. Like, friends coming in from out of town in the next few weekends, or movies, or watching football. Even though I'm tired, just catching up on sleep isn't enough to rejuvenate me; I need something for my mind to chew on that's not work-related.

and then, I disappear

Kickin' it to:



Took in the V-Show at school, got to intro my bro to the coworkers, went to hit baseballs, fell asleep on the phone. Watching one of the last White Sox games of this forgettable season on Saturday, with aforementioned brother and dad. And bye to Ed on Sunday.

Welcome October. Welcome, new Radiohead album (?).

telekinesis

as in, if I stare at these piles of paper on my desk long enough, they'll magically be graded and disappear. I can make it move with my mind.

Kanye's new album? I like all the tracks except the radio cuts. Figures.

3:10 to Yuma is fantastic. I love the mini-resurgence of the Western, because of the theological element and also, cuz it's straight-up manly (insert Brokeback joke, here). Next up: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.



My brother is back in town, before he heads off to school. He begins his first year of theology, after having completed all of his philosophy. It's funny because he's gotten into the habit of posing everything as a rhetorical question. "What is the best way to live a holy life?" "I don't know, Ed. Why don't you tell me?"

Little Sister (TM) Jillupa is coming to watch my sophomores play tomorrow against Barrington. Barrington = one of our fiercest rivals. But, my girls are more excited that Little Sister Jillupa is watching in the stands than actually, you know, playing against our regional rivals. Back to the drawing board.

I still can't hear out of my right ear. Please, doctor, fix it on Wednesday.

plotting out the madness

One of the OCD things I do when I have too many things jumbled in my mind is to make lists. It doesn't even help me organize, it just smooths my nerves. Here goes:

I keep finding mechanical flaws in my setter as she delivers the ball. She's slow with her hands prior to the ball arriving, which means she rushes and ends up "flicking" at the ball instead of making a steady, even push with both. Her feet are off-balance when she sets, also, so that she's often on one foot when she delivers, which throws off the timing. I don't want to overload her mind with too much information, but she needs to make a consistent set about 90% of the time.

Why are the Puritans so dreadful to read about? *I* even fall asleep trying to grasp it. Jonathan Edwards is fun, though. You don't really read anything close to "angry" in public school literature anymore.

On the end of the American Lit pool that I like to wade in is Edgar Allan Poe, and "The Cask of Amontillado," which my frosh get to read this week. Unless they tell me that they've read it before. I tell them, too bad, you haven't read it with me. Muhahaha. Bricks and mortar, anybody?

I can hear my mother grinding vegetables and fruits into the juicer upstairs, which takes me back to a childhood full of mornings with carrot juice, because, well... I don't why. They told me to drink it, so I did. The grinding juicer sound still heebs me out, as does vegetable juice in general, which my V8 drinking coworkers take advantage of.

I'm in a rut with music and movies. The last few purchases have been up and down (Feist? Up. Interpol? Down.), and the impending Kanye/50 sales peeing contest is unappealing. Somebody rescue me. A Place to Bury Strangers? The National? Liars? C'mon guys. Thankfully, two fave actors open this coming week, so... I've got weekend plans. Woo!

phew

One thing I'm excited to find out is how I'm going to maintain a sustainable pace over the school year. The trick seems to lie in either controlling your sense of time (when to be aware or not aware of it) or not letting the time ever get you into a panic. I suppose there's also not letting the wearing effects of no sleep get to you.

I was at the gas station after practice and getting to Mass, and I thought, this is exactly what I'd wished for; teaching English, coaching volleyball, and all in my first full year. All the exhaustion and stress aside, I feel like I've received way more than I had ever hoped to get. I'm grateful for the balance it brings.

Work has been full bore since I got back from the last retreat of the summer in Toronto (happy picture, below)


with volleyball tryouts and practice. My head's been swimming, but it's different than the fear-driven sweating-it-out of last year. Coaching? No problem. Working 6 days a week? No problem. Not getting paid until the 14th? Uhhhh.

I haven't watched any baseball since I came home, my self-imposed White Sox fast notwithstanding. So no baseball, and but I've been closely reading every match result from the English Premier League. As is typical to my life, my team is off to a slow start after an offseason of lavish spending, plus rumblings about the manager getting fired and our best player maybe leaving. Gotta love British media drama. Come to think of it, a sport that plays once a week and that I don't get on my cable package is probably the only one I can follow at this point.

on the runway

Been waiting around for, well, a lot of things. My brother to come home (that was yesterday, and he's all good). My teaching schedule. The last of our summer programs in Toronto (we'll drive up this weekend). The end of the summer, sadly. The beginning of the girls' volleyball season (I'm coaching?!).

But in the midst of the waiting, with a Cow living at our house, we checked out the Simpsons movie, which was still worth the non-stadium-seating, extra cheapo theater rate of $4.50.



Can't wait til Bourne Ultimatum this weekend. Woop!

emptying the notebook

I am stealing this quote from a baseball blog I read (and highly recommend) which stole it from an interview with author Philip Roth. Roth was speaking about the need for the modern reader to read books in some weird, alternative way (I blame the 21st century), as in, "what do these characters' names really MEAN?" Or "what does this tell me about the AUTHOR?" Mr. Roth says:

"It’s like baseball. Suppose you and I went up to the ballpark together and there's a guy next to us with his kid. And (the father) was saying, 'Now, what I want you to do is watch the scoreboard. Stop watching the field. Just watch what happens when the numbers change on the scoreboard. Isn't that great? Now do you see what just happened there? Did you see what happened? Why did that happen?'

"And you say, 'That guy is crazy.' But the kid imbibes it and he goes home and he's asked: 'How was the game?' And he says, 'Great! The scoreboard changed thirty-two times and Daddy said last game it changed only fourteen times and the home team last time changed more times than the other team. It was really great! We had hot dogs and we stood up at one point to stretch and we went home.'

"Is that politicizing the game? Is that theorizing the baseball game? No. It's not having the foggiest idea what baseball is."

True that, dawg.

Ambiguously Masculine Moment (TM): Durty and I, sitting on his couch, watching, laughing, ENJOYING "The Devil Wears Prada" on a slow Sunday night on TV. "This is great. I watched this with my sister. You should see the rest of it," says he. Hmm.

let me sing you a waltz

Just watched the very delightful "Paris Je T'aime." It's not as cheesy or "chick-flick" as one might expect. In my DVD collection, it'd be under "joie de vivre."



One of the taglines for the movie is "18 different stories by 18 of the most celebrated directors." Ok. How is Wes Craven one of those?

durable lefties are NICE

Mark Buehrle re-signs for 4/56mm. Take that, Barry Zito lovers.

The Sox very obviously need an overhaul, so it was a little strange to hear Buehrle's name being bandied about in trade rumors so often. Who do you build around on this roster beside someone like Buehrle?

Teams build around players that are 1) cheap, 2) young and 3) dependable. If you're young, then you're usually cheap. It's the rare treasure that is all three, young superstars like David Wright, Miguel Cabrera, and Brandon Webb. The sustainability of success depends a lot on those cheap, young, good players that keep the winning percentage up and the payroll down. Even big spenders like the Yankees (Robinson Cano, Melky Cabrera) and the Red Sox (Dustin Pedroia, Jonathan Papelbon, Kevin Youkilis) have young players playing at a high level every day, to offset all those high salary guys.

The short list of young and/or cheap is: Danks, Jenks, Fields, Podsednik and Iguchi
The list of dependable is: Buehrle, Garland, Uribe
The last list is guys who are probably too expensive to move: Thome, Konerko, Vazquez

So, with Buehrle back in the fold, the only guys left to deal are the Rotting Corpse of Jose Contreras and the Slightly Less Rotting Corpse of Jermaine Dye, both of whom have a year left on their contracts but may still entice someone into a two month rental for mid-level prospects. Vazquez has suddenly resurrected himself, having his first good year since 2003, so he looks unlikely to move.

The only other thing is to figure out which, if any, of the chumps among Luis Terreo, Andy Gonzalez, and Jerry Owens can play (survey SAYS: no), and see if we can get some more of those cheap, young, good players, because the 2007 Sox are overloaded with old, expensive ones.

Come on, Kenny!

"i'm not leaving without Bumblebee"

Amidst all the hilariously bad dialogue and indifference to things like "scripts," the Transformers movie was a good time, totally worth $10 in the middle of the summer.

"Optimus Prime gets Prostate Cancer"



Top 10 fav Transformers (I mean the old-school ones, not the crappy permutations)

1. Optimus Prime
2. Soundwave
3. Grimlock
4. Devastator
5. Megatron
6. Prowl
7. Sunstreaker
8. Sideswipe
9. Brawn
   
10. Laserbeak

Top 10 cartoons from our childhood that will be made into movies (according to me, Moose, and Young Patrick):

1. He-Man (no, we're forgetting the Dolph Lundgren version ever existed)
2. Robotech
3. JEM (truly outrageous)
4. M.A.S.K. - you forgot about it? Well, it was vehicles that turned into... other vehicles. With guns attached.
   
   
5. Thundercats (obvious)
   
6. She-Ra, if they showed it right after He-Man, like they did in real life. She-Ra's pretty much like the WNBA, the bastardized, more boring counterpart to a more popular product.
   
7. GI Joe. Oh yeah.
8. Centurions - we couldn't remember if this was really a cartoon, or just a toy.
   
9. C.O.P.S. - what's with acronyms that aren't really acronyms?
   
10. Captain Power - only if we get to shoot at the screen with those infrared toy guns.
    

all the stars you need

...and I don't mean the new Stars single, "The Night Starts Here." MLB vote tallies are in, so the hitters are set for the midsummer "classic." Instead of doffing the old hat of picking my own '07 all-stars, I thought, who are the best players of this DECADE? In the future looking back towards the Oughts (albeit an arbitrary but convenient span of time), which players will stick out? We're at a point in time where we can do that, too, being 7 years into it.

So... I picked these out by eyeballing the stats, looking at Win Shares, blabbedy blaZZZZZZZZZ. Ok here's the list.

MLB Team of the 2000-2010 (I know, it's actually 11 years)

C - Jorge Posada, NYY. Hasn't had a down year since the decade started. The NL counterpart would be Mike Piazza, who's only been middling since 2003, but had a spectacular 2000-2002.
Jorge's 2003: 281/405/518, 30 HR 101 RBI

1b - Albert Pujols, StL. The undisputed best. The AL's best for the decade was a little more cryptic, but Carlos Delgado has the slight edge over Jim Thome (injured 2005).
Fat Albert's ridic 2006: 331/431/671, 49 HR 137 RBI (in 143 games)

2b - Jeff Kent, SF/Hou/LAD. Has been very consistent even until this year, in his age 39 season. His AL counterpart is Alfonso Soriano, although his days playing 2b might be over.
Kent in his 2000 MVP season: 334/424/596, 33 HR 125 RBI

3b - Alex Rodriguez, Sea/Tex/NYY. Only because there are no AL 3bs worth a mention. Scott Rolen, Phi/StL is the best from the NL.
ARod's MVP 2005: 321/421/610, 48 HR 130 RBI 21 SB

SS - Derek Jeter, NYY. Over Miguel Tejada. Both have been consistent, but Jeter's good years have been better than Tejada's (according to OPS+). The AL also Carlos Guillen, Nomar when he was good, and ARod, but the NL is a barren wasteland of SS. Edgar Renteria had two Jeter-like years, but that's about it.
Jeter's 2006: 343/417/483, 14 HR 97 RBI 34 SB

OF
Vladimir Guerrero, Mon/LAA - Vladdy's 2000: 345/410/664, 44 HR 123 RBI
Manny Ramirez, Cle/Bos - ManRam's 2000: 351/457/697, 38 HR 122 RBI in 118 games
Steroid Bear, SF - The Bear's 2001: 328/515/863, 73 HR 137 RBI
Honorable mention OFs: Gary Sheffield, Lance Berkman, Magglio Ordonez, Ichiro!

Starting Pitchers
Roy Oswalt, Hou - 2005: 20-12, 2.94 ERA, 184 Ks, 1.20 WHIP
Tim Hudson, Oak/Atl - 2003: 16-7, 2.70 ERA, 162 Ks, 1.08 WHIP
Pedro Martinez, Bos/NYM - 2000 Cy Young: 18-6, 1.74 ERA, 284 Ks, 0.74 WHIP
Johan Santana, Min - 2004 Cy Young: 20-6, 2.61 ERA, 265 Ks, 0.92 WHIP
Roger Clemens, NYY/Hou - Rocket's 2005: 13-8, 1.87 ERA, 185 Ks (at age 42)
Honorable mentions: Roy Halladay, Randy Johnson, Mark Buehrle, Carlos Zambrano.

Relief Pitchers
John Smoltz, Atl - 2003: 45 saves, 1.12 ERA, 0.87 WHIP
Billy Wagner, Hou/Phi/NYM - 2005: 38 saves, 1.51 ERA, 0.84 WHIP
Trevor Hoffman, SD - 2006: 46 saves, 2.14 ERA, 0.97 WHIP
Mariano Rivera, NYY - 2005: 43 saves, 1.38 ERA, 0.87 WHIP
Jason Isringhausen, StL - 2005: 39 saves, 2.14 ERA

duh

Shouldn't I have known that Interpol's new album is coming out in July?



Will it be any good? Who cares! New music! Yay!

excerpt

from Percy Shelley's "Zucca" (1822)

I loved—oh, no, I mean not one of ye,
Or any earthly one, though ye are dear
As human heart to human heart may be;—
I loved, I know not what—but this low sphere
And all that it contains, contains not thee,
Thou, whom, seen nowhere, I feel everywhere.
From Heaven and Earth, and all that in them are,
Veiled art thou, like a ... star.

By Heaven and Earth, from all whose shapes thou flowest,
Neither to be contained, delayed, nor hidden;
Making divine the loftiest and the lowest,
When for a moment thou art not forbidden
To live within the life which thou bestowest;
And leaving noblest things vacant and chidden,
Cold as a corpse after the spirit’s flight
Blank as the sun after the birth of night.

In winds, and trees, and streams, and all things common,
In music and the sweet unconscious tone
Of animals, and voices which are human,
Meant to express some feelings of their own;
In the soft motions and rare smile of woman,
In flowers and leaves, and in the grass fresh-shown,
Or dying in the autumn, I the most
Adore thee present or lament thee lost.

dulcet tones

I am digging my fav Canadian songstress, Feist.



Congrats, Todd and Kate.